No touching.

For those of you who have been following along at home (or work, or your phone or wherever else you may read my blog), you should remember I very recently took Pole For the Soul's Striptease and Lapdance Workshop. I have stolen from my recent Yelp review to save a little bit of time, but this post is going to include content that, albeit interesting, did not add any usefulness to my review.

From my Yelp: "So, like, who *doesn't* remember the huge craze over Carmen Electra's "Fit to Strip" DVD series? I paid far too much for every single one of those videos and they basically ended up being soft-core porn...Only one of the DVDs included an actual workout (which was poorly executed and missing balance in the reps) and I'm not quite sure how I was supposed to learn the moves when all the camera was shooting was a closeup of her ass and/or titties, but I digress.

Since I am pretty serious about my "most awesome girlfriend" standing AND in need of creative ways to occupy my time while my boyfriend is out of the country for 3+ months, I decided to look into learning how to lap dance (I repeat - this is not a career move). After browsing through the instructional DVD selections on Amazon and not being very impressed, I decided to google "lap dance class Seattle" and ended up at the page for Pole for the Soul's 'Striptease and Lap Dance Workshop.'

There was one spot left in the class that was scheduled for the following weekend - $40, small class, no nudity, women only and claiming that "you will learn a sexy walk, sensual hip moves, sultry floor work, a tempting striptease and a lap dance you can perform with just a chair and a smile," it seemed like just the thing I was looking for. I left the class this weekend with ALL that, in addition to a renewed sense of sexy self-confidence and a few bruises on my knees."

I was running a few minutes late for the class (which the confirmation email had warned against) so I was slightly stressed out when I arrived at PFtS, but shortly after I entered and was told to find a spot for my yoga mat I was also informed that we would be waiting for another girl who hadn't shown yet. As I got myself seated, the door behind me flew open, but only to reveal a few young boys (that were obviously hoping for a glimpse of undressed women) who promptly turned tail and ran away.

Once the shock had worn off, I had a chance to take in my surroundings: the small room with heavily curtained windows and numerous poles scattered throughout the room (PFtS's main business is actually Pole Dance and Sensual Movement classes), the group of 8 women gathered on yoga mats who ranged from mid 20s to late 40s (in various versions of workout/sexy gear), and our tiny little instructor, Krisha.

The last straggler showed up shortly thereafter and we went around the room introducing ourselves and explaining our interest in the workshop (for one girl, it was a surprise birthday present from another friend that was attending - so awesome) before Krisha got down to business.

Basically, we started out learning how to touch our bodies in a sensual way (not a sexual way, folks - don't let your mind wander too much), which is not as easy as some may think - it's definitely a little awkward to begin with. After warning us to pay special attention to avoid "Porn Foot," she demonstrated a few basic body roll moves,"get-ups," and a little floorwork which we all practiced in unison, though in our own styles. Once we seemed to be catching on she asked if we wanted to practice those more or move onto the actual "striptease" portion, which was received by a few of the girls with a hearty affirmation. We had been told to bring a skirt (preferably short) and a shirt you can easily pull off over your head, so at that point we donned our extra gear (well, some of us did - I'll touch on that fun fact later) and got ready to learn how to take it off.


To be continued....