Bye Bye Blogger.

While it is a work in progress, www.alysonoholic.com is now in fact a functioning site!

Moving forward I will be posting all of my blog stuff there in addition to migrating my reviews off of yelp and implementing some other fancy idears I've got now that I'm a dotcom.

Wheeeee!

Argh. Sometimes it just isn't your week.

This is Gotye, the stuffed platypus that my Work Hubs brought back for me from his trip to Australia after assuring me that obtaining a sloth would be nigh impossible.

This is Gotye the musical artist from Australia whose show I am going to miss because I dragged my feet until it was sold out again despite actually having enough money for the ticket.

So, I basically get to sit here quietly sobbing (not really) and gently petting the platypus version while I listen to the original on my ipod. Lesson learned: procrastination doesn't pay, kids.

My ass thanks me, I'm sure.

About one minute in to the following video, you are introduced to a Garrett Melkonian, a nice gent I used to date billions of years ago.



When I think of how much I might weigh now had I continued seeing a pastry chef I shudder. Still, I am so happy to see that he's been successful - after spending a good amount of time working with Tom Douglas as Executive Pastry Chef for the Douglas restaurants he moved over to Spring Hill in my 'hood. I haven't eaten anything he's made for probably 10 years and I can't say I'm too sad about that - at least my waistline isn't.

Also, I really can't bake for shit so I imagine I'd eventually be overcome with jealousy that he makes a better pie crust or something.

Blast from the past!

I just remembered I have a Tumblr account that I haven't updated for a little over 2 years.

alysonoholic.tumblr.com

Basically I started that one and gave it up for this one. From now on, my little Tumblr baby is going to be designated for my short bursts of humor, observations and maybe a mini-rant or two (kinda like my twitter, but clearly much cooler.)

It's official - I'm in love...

...with Bikram yoga and road trips.

The heat, the sweat, the sense of accomplishment when you have conquered another of the 26 poses...The challenge is so rewarding. It's also the perfect rainy season replacement for running.

I purchased another Groupon (gawd I love these discount sites/emails) for a 10 class punch card at Bikram Yoga Burien after I took a few weeks off when I ran out of classes from Bikram Yoga in West Seattle. Burien is pretty close to me so it's definitely more appealing than the deals I've seen for other places on the Eastside and in North Seattle - I don't want to have to shower at the studio and I can't imagine more than a 15 minute drive covered in drying sweat. The studio isn't as nice, but my instructor (Gary Smith) was super easy on the eyes and I plan to get back to going at least twice a week until I either find another deal nearby or save up the dough to buy a membership at one of the studios.

In other news, in nine days we are embarking on another trip down to Portland. Dubs has the day off so she will definitely be riding down with the Sailor and I and this time we've decided to book a room at the Ace Hotel instead of the Jupiter (though there is nothing wrong with the Jupiter.) I'm making a point on this trip to hit up the stripclubs and hook up with my cousins Mack & Ben who live in Vancouver and we'll also be meeting up with the Sailor's old navy buddy again.

It looks like this will probably be my last trip this year since my pregnant coworker is ready to pop at the end of December and I'm running a bit low on PTO, so we're gonna make it a good one.

Kenny Powers is my boyfriend.

I spent the Sunday after Thanksgiving watching the second season of Eastbound & Down while lounging around in my "Kenny Powers is my boyfriend" tee-shirt. It was pretty awesome.

I had inexplicably missed most of the second season and I just happened to flip over to a rerun when Sailor and I were at my place on Saturday. He insisted had heard of it but had never seen an episode so we let it roll and laughed our asses off for the next 30 minutes or so.

If you didn't know, Eastbound & Down is rife with profanity and heavy on the hilarity which means it's essentially right up this girl's f*cking alley. Enjoy some of the finer moments (probably NSFW, folks:)

Season 3 is slated to be the last, but I'm still looking forward to it immensely.

Yay for pretentious foodie bullsh*t!

I always loved Ted Allen on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (remember that?) and this (satirical, for those of you who can't quite tell) piece from The Onion makes me like him even more.

Celebrity Chef Ted Allen Cooks His Favorite Pretentious Foodie Bullshit Meal

The Black Keys can do no wrong.

In a little over a month the new The Black Keys album El Camino will be out (December 6th!) and if this new single is any indication, I'll be loving it as hard as all the rest.

SAD.

It's not even really winter yet and it seems many I know lately are already fighting SAD (seasonal affective disorder) or just finding themselves depressed in general.

Whether it's due to the weather or not so ideal circumstances that may be happening for you lately, fellow blogger and awesome cartoonist Allie of Hyberbole and a Half makes it clear you're not alone (and will probably extract a least a giggle out of you) with her most recent post "Adventures in Depression."

very virgo metal monkey.

Okay, yes - I read 3 different horoscopes every week. Mock me all you want; I know many, many, many people think astrology is completely silly. That's fine with me (see: "IDGAF...") Really. I still like you, though.

Sundays I get my weekly Astrocenter email, Tuesdays I get Rob Brezsny's Free Will Astrology link via his Facebook page (I swear, all the cool shit is on Facebook these days,) and on my fancy igoogle homepage I get a free daily horoscope that I check out before I start gchatting. Honestly, I've never paid too much attention to the one I see daily until recently.

It keeps urging me to be patient lately (thanks bunches, fellow Seattleite and Master Astrologer Rick Levine...) Here is my typical response (as The Madre can attest,) borrowed from The Missus at On Common Ground (and someecards:)

Going for 5!

This will be my 5th year raising funds for the Arthritis Foundation through the Seattle Jingle Bell Run and though I have participated on a Yelp team for a few of those years, this time I'm signed up as an individual once again.

I am starting early but I've set a smaller goal for myself ($300) after raising a few thousand dollars for the program over the past few years. Don't get me wrong, even if I didn't personally have arthritis I'd be supporting this cause as the numbers are staggering - did you know that one in five Americans is afflicted? That's more than 50 million Americans including over 300,000 children – costing the U.S economy over $128 billion annually as the number one cause of disability. Crazy, right? That's why 80% of the funds that are raised go to important research and program services.

If you'd like to help, please consider donating here: http://seattlejinglebellrun.kintera.org/alyson or registering to run with me here. Even if you aren't in the Seattle area, there should be a run/walk being hosted somewhere near you!

TL;DR

For those of you non-nerds, the title of this post stands for Too Long; Didn't Read, which may have been the thought in your collective heads as you looked at my last few posts. Lordy, I am wordy lately.

New goal: more posts, less words.

On on that note, here is the prettiest short film I have ever seen about something pretty darn hideous (Juggalos.) Whaddya think? Are you "down with the clown?"

American Juggalo from Sean Dunne on Vimeo.

Becoming what you are.

My Free Will Astrology horoscope this week made me think. This is what Rob Brezsny says:

Our job is to become more and more of what we are," says poet Marvin Bell. "The growth of a poet seems to be related to his or her becoming less and less embarrassed about more and more." Whether or not you're a poet, Virgo, I would like to apply this gauge to your own growth. The way I see it, your power to claim your birthright and fulfill your destiny will ultimately hinge to a significant degree on your ability to shed all residual shame about your true nature. And guess what: There has never been a better time to work on that noble project than right now.

I guess that is really what I've been striving for this past year - authenticity and being true to myself. Previously, it was opening myself up to new things and being more tolerant and patient towards others, now it's all about being real. One example: I am no longer going to even try to pretend I am interested in sports. At all. Another: if I am most likely not going to attend an event I'm invited to, I will mark myself as a "no" on the RSVP. Also: if my feelings are hurt, I will tell you why upfront.

Basically, I feel I'm old enough now that I don't need to just tell people what they want to hear so that they aren't upset with me. I gotta tell you - it feels really effin' good.

This is why most of my high school connections were left on Myspace.

Happy Birthday to me.

My birthday is coming up in a little over a week. I'm calling this one 30FUN, though I somehow still feel like I'm 25 and was getting carded for cigarettes until I stopped buying them.

I'm not sure if it's a coincidence, but lately I've been incredibly moved to get on a healthier track and work on feeling and looking better in general. A friend and his girlfriend have been doing a cleanse/detox and posting their progress on tumblr and that Fat Sick and Nearly Dead documentary has been everywhere these days. I have been eating better after becoming more adept at creating balanced meals for one person though I still eat far more processed foods and not as many vegetables/fruit as I should. Obviously, I am hoping my balcony garden experiment will put a dent in that.

I'm patiently waiting for my order of Barlean's Greens capsules to show up; last time I quit smoking I was having killer headaches that my LMP suggested were caused by detoxing and would be helped by the greens. I drank the powder with juice and and it was still a bit too gritty for my taste but it definitely seemed to work on my headaches as well as giving me more energy, so the capsules should hopefully be just the thing. Also, I finally got one of those cute little insulated cups for work and I'm drinking a lot more water lately to help flush all the crap out of my system. Still, I think I'll do some research and the week after my birthday I'll probably do some additional detox/cleansing. Juicing sounds promising but I don't own a juicer, nor do I want to invest in one at the moment. Anyone have any leads on cleanses/detox programs they have used successfully?

While I'm priming my insides, I am not neglecting the outside! I am using whitestrips for my teeth as a mini-reward for not smoking anymore (they work and you can find them super cheap on eBay, y'all) and now that the sun has come out in Seattle I've gotten a nice, healthy tan.

In spite of all the stress from this past year, I've made it to another birthday feeling improved inside and out - fitter, smarter, and in fine feather emotionally as well as spiritually. I think 30FUN is what it's all about, kids.

Hello people!

I have not forgotten about you; I have just been slammed at work and too exhausted to formulate complete sentences once I get home. Consider this your musical interlude before I return to (somewhat) regular posting again.

I f*cking love The Black Keys.

Shameless Plug - Charles: Ace of Bass sketch comedy

Shamefully, I hadn't been in the 619 Western building for possibly years before Sunday night despite the fact that a few of my friends have shown at numerous First Thursdays. If I had been, I might have been more prepared to walk into a colorful, characterful, likely deathtrap that as of August 1st is no longer allowed to hold public events. The intentional graffiti helped distract me from the gaping cracks in the walls, notices that made it very clear we'd be totally screwed if an earthquake were to hit and the sense of impending doom, so yay for that.

You, Dear Reader, will be lucky enough to see the Charles: Ace of Bass show at Ballard Underground because A) that's where the show will be continuing this Friday and Saturday and B) you're buying tickets because you'd be stupid to miss their first full-length original show.

Shortly after settling into my seat, Stephen Ross (of Ubiquitous They Fame, also helping with tech for this weekend's gigs) dragged out a big blue cooler, telling the audience that the show would be starting in a few minutes and he would be leaving said cooler full of beer at the front of the stage until they were ready to proceed, while encouraging the audience to help themselves. Any show that offers me a free beer upfront automatically wins bonus points...

Not that these guys needed my bonus points.

Opening up, Clayton Weller and Ryan Schmidt from UT showcased a high energy sketch set I hear they've been work-shopping for a while, filled with rapping, coordinated dance moves and lots o' fun pantomime. After a brief intermission where the blue cooler reappeared to everyone's delight, Chuck and Charlie of Charles took the stage (also to everyone's delight - I'm not sure if it was specifically this show, but the turn out was impressive and everyone seemed to know each other.)

Man, these cats are funny, and in that smart way that doesn't make everyone in the crowd feel condescended to. The sketches had a really good flow and the segues as well as additional props (how do you even do that with a Billy the Bass?) were handled deftly. I feel like I could go on and on about how talented I think they are and how much I laughed my ass off, but I also feel like I should impress upon you the awesomeness of the deal they are offering: approximately 90 minutes of hilarity for $10 is a freakin' steal. C'mon, it's Seattle - you know you've paid more for less funny. Truly, my only disappointment stems from the fact that my work schedule prevented me from taking them up on their audience-wide offer to have drinks with them at a nearby bar afterward.

So, GO FORTH AND BE AMUSED my fine friends, and if you need someone to hold your hand on the foray to funny hit me up and I'll gladly attend with you. This week's openers are The DK and Morgan Show from Bellingham (who unfortunately I am completely unfamiliar with but seem to be drawing equally assuring praise.) Do it.

George RR Martin reading, Shotstravangaza™, housewarming/birthday party, Sangria-off, Charles: Ace of Bass

That's a lot of stuff to put in a blog post title. That's also a lot of stuff to do in one weekend. Actually, the first three events are occurring in one evening. I've made sure to get plenty of sleep over the past few days and I will be fueling up with plenty of caffeinated beverages, you can be sure.

First, there is the sold out George RR Martin "Dance of the Dragons" reading/signing at Town Hall. A friend sent out a plea asking someone to attend the reading to get a book signed on behalf of her French exchange sister whose boyfriend loves the Song of Fire and Ice series and since I was working my way through the first book with full intentions of reading the second, third, fourth and fifth, I was happy to oblige. She purchase two tickets to the event so I get to take a signed book home as well and I'm pretty freaking excited.

Then, off to a local Chinese restaurant/lounge for a going away party for one of the bartenders there that I am friends with, she'll be moving to Portland for a wonderful job opportunity and we'll be downing jello shots in her honor at the Shotstravaganza™.

Another lovely lady friend of mine is having a housewarming and joint birthday party for herself and one of the coolest almost-six year olds that I know (her kidlet Cash) and this is an additional "must-stop" scheduled for tonight.

Saturday, there's the Sangria-off at my homegirl's place with three different sangria "contest" contenders, plenty of adorable gays and cute little hipsters, of course.

As for Sunday, it seems due to my recent post about how much I enjoyed the Ubiquitous They show I've been invited to another local sketch comedy show, Charles: The Ace of Bass at the Satori Loft. It's an unfamiliar venue but UT will also be performing that night, so I'll at least know some of the faces. I have no doubt it's a good show, Lindy West from The Stranger has been singing their praises lately and my friend Gabriel from Seattle Show Gal (who has fantastic taste) had very nice things to say about their set at Laffhole. The show goes for 2 more weekends: this Saturday and Sunday and then Friday and Saturday of next week, with the doors opening at 8 PM each evening and show starting at 8:30 PM. Tickets are only $10 at the door and can also be purchased in advance at brown paper tickets so you should go see them too, because I'm sure you also like funny people, right? Here's a little taste of what we can look forward to:

Watermelon juice: in the running to be the new summer mixer?

While my apartment is not really ready for hosting friends, I get a little restless during the summer if I don't get enough socialization. I'm hoping most of the people who have been suggesting a happy hour outing lately will be willing to stick close to home and come enjoy adult beverages on my beautiful balcony (while saving money!)

I'll usually keep a bottle of wine or a six pack of beer around, but the warmer weather definitely has me craving cocktails (and technically you get more bang for your buck, which fits into my super tight budget at the moment.) I figured vodka was a decently adaptable base booze to start with and I could change it up with different juices when I got too bored with one flavor. Greyhounds and vodka lemonades have become my go-to drinks when I'm

out, but when I made a stop at the juice section the other day I found a newer juice flavor I felt I had to try: watermelon.

It's so new that it's not even on the Dole Juice site yet, or maybe it's just a Target-specific product but I'm excited to try it - it seems so very "summery." I found a great thread on Chowhound with some inspiring ideas, but I think the following Watermelon Martini recipe (found in numerous places on the web) will be my first foray into experimenting with this recent cocktail trend:

Ingredients:

*1 cup watermelon juice (press watermelon through a sieve or cheesecloth, juice it in a juicer, or buy bottled watermelon juice)
*1/2 cup (4 oz) Vodka
*1/4 cup simple syrup (optional)
*juice of 1 lime
*3 tablespoons salt (optional)
*3 tablespoons sugar (optional)
*ice
*Watermelon slices, for garnish (optional)

Preparation:

Mix together the sugar and salt if using. Wet the rim of a chilled martini glass with a piece of watermelon. Dip the rim into the sugar and salt mixture. Repeat for other glass. Place the watermelon juice, vodka, lime juice, and simple syrup into a cocktail shaker. Top with ice. Shake well. Pour contents through strainer into martini glasses. Makes 2 servings.

I can still be a Domestic Goddess even if I don't own martini glasses, RIGHT?

I like funny people. (a belated Shameless Plug)

This weekend I had the distinct pleasure of attending a local(ish) sketch comedy show featuring Ubiquitous They and the Peter 'n Chris Show. I say "ish" because the latter is technically from Vancouver, BC but if I had more room I'd kidnap them and keep them in my basement and make them perform for me like cute little Canadian monkeys. I'm probably a bit biased since I was lucky enough to hang with both crews after the show and close down a nearby bar over pitchers of beer, but damn - I like funny people. Here's one of the clips they did at the show:

And one performed by Ubiquitous They:

If you ever get a chance to see either troupe live, DO IT.