Friday, December 17, 2010
Okay, so I didn't go to class. After contemplating what my teacher could possibly (most likely)intend for the last class in the 6 week series I couldn't really find a reason to justify driving from West Seattle to the U District and paying for parking. I've still got Rosetta, a good workbook and loved ones who are more than happy to help me continue learning so I'm not feeling too guilty.

Instead I spent the evening reorganizing my drawers. This weekend the Madre and I searched far and wide (aka as Southcenter's furniture district) for a lingerie chest to help accommodate Bear's clothing when he comes back for his holiday visit (and beyond.) My tidy Virgo tendencies would not do well dealing with him living out of a suitcase, even if only for a week and a half. Because I had skipped the Jingle Run (why I don't own waterproof running gear in Seattle baffles even me, but it was too effing wet) but I still wanted to hang out with my Mom, I figured this was the perfect day to get out and look.

Um, so, I learned a lingerie chest is a very specific type of furniture that places don't keep a lot of versions of AND they usually run around $300 on the lower end. So, off to ikea we went to purchase the $150 version, which we put together in 3 hours the next day. It's simple but beautiful and I seriously felt a sense of accomplishment after making it through all 27 steps without resorting to drinking or throwing things.

The piece it is replacing was a much smaller 2 drawer chest with a usable surface area. Because I didn't go to class, I finally had a chance to make the adjustments to lighting and decor around the bedroom as well as getting the clothes redistributed. Again, my donation pile grew and also I ended up lugging everything downstairs to take to Goodwill.
With only a number of days now until my boyfriend gets back, I have A LOT OF SHIZ TO DO. I believe shall be coping with a little bit of retail therapy to balance out the grocery shopping, fish tank cleaning, bedding washing, girly grooming, etc. I earned it, and I am making it a priority too.

"ours" vs. "my/mine"

Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Only one week until I get to see my boyfriend. Halle-freakin'-lujah! Not a moment too soon, really.

Also, tonight is my last Beginning Turkish class. Can I get an "Amen?" I've enjoyed the class, but working on noun cases for the past 3 weeks with no forward movement has been incredibly frustrating. I had a pretty good grasp after the first class we worked on them, but I guess she felt the rest of the students were confused enough to warrant an additional 2 sessions (out of 6) on the same stinkin' subject. I think I might go back to Rosetta Stone until I can find an Intermediate class with a little more momentum - I'm not a fan of being forced to pace people who are having trouble grasping pretty simple concepts. Even after discussing my concerns with the teacher, it was clear she did not want to move on to another subject and obviously was not attentive enough to understand how far ahead of the other students a few of us are already moving.

I have a butt-load to take care of around the apartment in the next 7 days, which I am slowly trying to teach myself to refer to as "our" apartment. After 30 years of being an only child and a number of years living on my own (with a few brief failed attempts at cohabitation in my late teens and early 20s,) sometimes I find myself having to consciously focus on the fact that it is now technically "our" apartment and the things in it are essentially "ours" (hands off my Dermalogica, boyfriend.) Once he's actually physically there and helping me with the nitty gritty (like cleaning and finances,) I'm sure it will come much more naturally.

I'm surprisingly not super freaked out about the fact that in a month or so I will no longer be living alone, like, ever again. I know the initial time period where we're crammed into a little one bedroom is going to take adjusting to, but we have our eyes on the prize - a 2 bedroom pet-friendly home with a washer and dryer located somewhere north of the current place. Together. That's the best/most important/coolest part.

Two weeks...

Wednesday, December 8, 2010
...until I see my sweet, adorable Bear again.

In honor of that happy event, I give you some Al Green:

Reaching the threshold and being ok.

Monday, December 6, 2010
I've found out my breaking point when it comes to my boyfriend being away. Well, I suppose we figured it out before but I didn't realize how the cycle of okayness in my head really truly works (or doesn't.)

Last time Bear left, we agreed that if he were to be gone any longer than 2 months on this recent trip we would figure out a way for one of us to visit. I am now positive this is a pretty good rule to follow from this point forward, for the sake of our sanity if nothing else.

The first month, I'm "OK." I can usually keep myself busy and there aren't too many effects on my daily life, though I am bummed about the non-cuddling and may get a little lazy with my cleaning efforts. Once it passes that one month mark, I start to get sad. Now, if the absence is only one month beyond that I can usually keep it together for another week or so until I have to start readying myself for his return. Pass that one month month with no return date to look forward to and I start to get really sad. Like, "put me on medication sad." I wish I were joking.

Maybe it's just the multiple disappointments we've both had to face this year schedule-wise while still trying to move our relationship forward and the stress of being apart so much AND maybe it will be more bearable as the months go by and we can actually spend more time together than apart, but when it was becoming clear he was going to be gone for 12+ weeks instead of the projected 6-8 it was simply too much for me to handle.

He's my best friend, he's the love of my life, he is my rock; being apart is overwhelmingly hard on both of us. I was already incredibly bummed he'd be gone for Christmas, to add another month beyond that was unimaginable for me. I was crushed. Sadly, it doesn't just strain our relationship, it's also really hard on the friendships I've developed with the rest of his band/management, too.

Thankfully, my Bear is keeping his word. I'm not sure exactly how it came about, but as the offer for the January tour dates became more concrete he apparently became more convinced that he need to come home for a visit. Just like that, "how the hell am I going to make it another 2 months??" transitioned to "oh crap, I have less than 3 weeks to get my sh*t together."

So, he'll come back for a visit and brighten my spirits for the holidays then should only be gone another month beyond that for the tour...Afterward he can come home to me and we can find a bigger place of our own. Finally, our hard work this year will start to pay off the way it should. THAT I can handle.

Seattle Jingle Bell Run 2010 is approaching fast.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Every December for the past 4 years I have participated in the Seattle Jingle Bell Run to support The Arthritis Foundation’s mission to prevent, control and cure arthritis.

Beyond the fact that I am personally afflicted and hope for better treatment options for myself, I am also fully aware that it affects more than 46 million Americans, including 300,000 children, costing the U.S economy over $128 billion annually. Yes, indeed - billions of dollars as one of the nation's most common causes of disability.

I've raised a respectable amount of money in the past, but I truly get the most joy out of the ritual it has become. The Madre will come pick my inevitably grumpy ass up and drop me off in downtown Seattle, where I lace on my bells (alone or with friends) and get my cold butt as quickly to the finish line as I can manage so I can go inside somewhere for breakfast and mimosas. I always smile when the carols start, sometimes I get a little teary, but I always have fun.

If you like to run, please consider joining me this year as one of those crazy people who gets up too early in the cold on a Sunday morning (we can celebrate with mimosas!) You can register here:

If you don't like to run and aren't slightly insane and maybe have a few bucks to spare for a really great cause, please consider helping me with my fundraising here:

If neither are possible for you this year, I'd still love to have your support in spirit! It's freakin' chilly out there.