Psychic Reading Part 2

I'll get right to it today.:

One of the first things Spirit says is that you need to work on self loyalty...Don't abandon yourself for anyone else and stick with what makes YOU feel fucking good.” She lit a cigarette. Years later, I am struck by the accuracy. I have gotten much better at it, but it used to always be that something significant in my life is neglected when Iwas in a serious relationship. In some relationships I had almost totally given up my own friends and hobbies to be able to be involved with theirs instead. Obviously I am a piss poor listener and it wasn't until the past few years that I became so much better at maintaining a high level of independence regardless of what may be happening in my love life (even sometimes going to extremes in the opposite direction). She moved onto encouraging me to allow myself to dream and assured me with her silly laugh that “it's okay to dream big,” but tells me she sees me walking around with a shopping list for everything in my life and that though I live my life with intention, sometimes I just need to let go of the checklists for some of the things in my life. The Virgo part of me says “fat chance, lady,” but another part of me knows precisely what she is talking about. No one and nothing can be perfect, and I should not expect it to be so. Once again, something I've really come around from in the past year so maybe I needed to learn some things before I finally got the message. The Spirit urges her to tell me that they will say yes to whatever my dream is as long as I am dedicated. Presumably searching through my life again she tells me that I am delightful and “really fucking smart. You can play along with dumb. You're smart enough to play dumb.” which sets me to giggling as she adds “you're intellectually capable.” At this point, I could hang out with this woman all night if she keeps the compliments coming, though there is a certain truth to her words. I tested high in the 98^th percentile, yet never did my homework and later ended up as a cheerleader instead of a nerd by learning how to play the part. Boys didn't seem to like the smart girls as much and I got teased for enough in school – when you want to be popular, you act like the popular kids.

She moved on and let me know that I needed to do my best to “check in” with myself and make sure that I am truly doing okay, because I walk around thinking “I have this charmed life” yet it is okay to have other feelings. She suggested that it was the emotional part that needs the care, and that I should pay attention to it so I can let others know when things aren't okay and be direct. She urged me to like myself without the external feedback, which was hitting one of the nails on the head at the time, but confirmed that I have great support from people with very pure hearts.

Skipping to a another subject she said she saw me with a certain ambivalence and that there is a time where I will be sure then telling me with another grin “I don't know what to do with you.” Disjointedly she said that I will “match that person's energy and you won't harm them that way. It's honest” and she could see the time where I was questioning whether or not I want to be here, before telling me that art was good for me and she saw me working in several different mediums. To a certain extent, I am still confused about what she may have meant, but I believe she cleared some of it up later.