The things men text me.

This morning for work I decided to forgo my usual jeans and cap for a cardigan and cute little dress over leggings, knee high socks and my favorite pair of black boots. Within minutes of arriving at work and having the girls ooh and ahh over my 'fit I got a text from a gentleman in my apartment building who I had exchanged numbers with after numerous encounters in the elevator. The best bits of our back and forth have been included below for your pleasure:

Neighbor: I just saw a super hot girl in black boots crossing our parking lot and said "oh wait, that's Alyson." Haha :) How's the bf sitch?

Me: HAHA! Thanks. I'm single once again and enjoying it. ;)

N: Me too. Too much drama! Let's hang a bit soon. Maybe you can wear those boots! :).

Me: They seem to be a crowd favorite at work today!

N: I'm sure they are. Perhaps u should throw in a pair of thigh highs next time u wear them? :) might as well go for the total shock factor.

Me: Um, I work with a bunch of old dirty men & get sexually harassed regularly enough as it is. They're drooling over the knee high socks so I may already be pushing it.

N: Humm. U should try using your shape to get a raise! I betcha it works if u try. :).

Me: I'm sure it already does, but not the kind of "raise" that would benefit me financially.

N: I sure hope I don't fall into the dirty old man category!

Me: You can't be that much older than me.

N: True but my mind is somewhat dirty. At times. :). Haha.

Me: Well, that's preferable to being a total square.

N: Ya I don't fit into the square arena at all. U know ud prob mix really well with a few hot tats. Anyone ever plant that seed?

Me: Um, I'm covered in tattoos.

N: Bullshit! Really??? Where and how come you don't show them?

Me: Hahahahah! I've got 'em all over but most of them are covered in cold weather. I've been getting inked since I was 14, no joke. You got a Facebook, old man? ;)

N: Wow. That's a huge turn on for me. Tats make my left shake with the spankin itch. Haha. Seriously. My x gf got a tat of my hand imprint on her left cheek. Was kind of funny. I got off facebook. Was tired of the dorky comments etc however I need to reactivate my account now that I job searching. Plus I had tons of kitesurfing/band photos on there I need to save.

Me: Well, there are pics with my tats on there. I'm not a huge fan of having my ass slapped, sadly.

N: Well, for the record I'd never slap a woman but have been known to provide a firm spank during erotic times. Have any photos of your tats on your phone u can send?

Me: I don't. All on my old phone.

N: No worries. Maybe you can show me some time. I'll sit on my hands. I hope are aware that I'm not too serious about the spankin thang tho. However I will say that u do have some pretty potent pheremones. At least what I can sense in an elevator for a few seconds. Haha.

Yes folks - this happens to me on a regular basis. I've shied away from posting most of it before but I have been urged by Dubs to share these priceless moments with the world. Enjoy.