Argh. Sometimes it just isn't your week.

This is Gotye, the stuffed platypus that my Work Hubs brought back for me from his trip to Australia after assuring me that obtaining a sloth would be nigh impossible.

This is Gotye the musical artist from Australia whose show I am going to miss because I dragged my feet until it was sold out again despite actually having enough money for the ticket.

So, I basically get to sit here quietly sobbing (not really) and gently petting the platypus version while I listen to the original on my ipod. Lesson learned: procrastination doesn't pay, kids.

The glorious results of a unfortunate online dating experiment.

So, my foray into online dating had some bizarre effects on the other aspects of my life:

*I've been drinking less alcohol and more tea. (Yay - though I've got a newly opened box of PG Tips if anyone wants 'em.) Also, in general I've found myself more inclined towards hanging out with people who don't drink as much.

*I deep cleaned my apartment and put away all of my laundry (not a regular occurrence, despite my regular Domestic Goddessing fits,) but I didn't go to bikram for two weeks.

*I have finally reached the point where I have learned not to respond to texts from Jesse and have decided that as per multiple suggestions I will move forward with a restraining order if he refuses to cease contact with me as requested. It seems bizarre that I would need to get a R.O., but blocking him on Google Voice didn't work and I've been told time and time again that harassment is harassment regardless of the medium.

*I finally started feeling guilty about neglecting my fish to death (they truly are the red-headed stepchildren of my household) and leaving my last White Cloud alone in misery, so I cleaned out the tank and visited the fish store for a few more WCs and a betta to keep him company.

*I haven't been cooking; I've just been living on Trader Joe's snack foods.

*My boy-crazy-ness is on hold.

All in all, I learned some great lessons and came out with fresher outlook on some of my dating habits and...a new attitude, babe.

Online dating made me miserable.

Since the Englishman had perused my blog and declared "you date complete assholes," I actually had semi-decent hopes he wasn't going to be one. As per yooj, I would be wrong.

I'm actually a bit baffled: what seemed like a funny, affectionate, affable gent (albeit pretty far from my physically preferred type) turned very quickly into a petulant, cold twat after an incredibly minor "misunderstanding," i.e. gently expressing my disappointment that after an absolutely lovely time together (and some fun fooling around) he quickly hopped back on the dating website to check messages from other girls. I tried ascertaining the base issue of his 'tude and defensiveness but like Amy Winehouse's parents trying to get her to rehab, all I was getting was "no, no, no." We all see how well that worked out for her, eh?

After giving an adult, civil conversation and resolution the ol' college try and hitting nothing but a brick wall, I realized I was wasting far too much time and mental energy on a hairy, pudgy, dutchbag that is small in the game. Amazing what a British accent can get you to temporarily overlook, ladies, though (unsurprisingly) at the moment every time I hear one I get viscerally annoyed.

Despite the site emailing me to let me know that I was statistically one of their most attractive users and I would be shown only more attractive search results, I didn't ever really find myself inspired to respond to any of the messages I received and when I did actually go out on dates I ended up hating and doubting myself (which is a completely unnatural state for me.)

On Friday, I shut that profile down for good then spent the weekend domestic goddessing between meet ups with my sweet, amazing friends and by Sunday I was feeling so much better.

Fee Fi Fo Fum...

...I went on a date with an Englishman.

I drank tea; he drank fizzy water because he's apparently a PG Tips snob and none of the 150+ varieties that the tea house offered could have possibly been adequate.

I had rushed from a clothing swap at Dubs' to Remedy Teas on the Hill to meet up with him and shortly before the date ended, I realized I could not recall exactly where I had parked my car. As we wandered around in the rain trying to locate the errant Hyundai I became acutely aware that I seem to be making stellar first impressions on these recent dates. I guess that either way I'm making these meetings memorable, right?

I think the past 3 weeks of drama and stress and overtime at work succeeded at temporarily melting my brain, so for the moment I am going to disable my online dating profile and enjoy getting back into the normal groove of my life. Back to Bikram, back to being on top of my Domestic Goddessing, back to life, back to reality...