Online dating made me miserable.

Monday, February 20, 2012
Since the Englishman had perused my blog and declared "you date complete assholes," I actually had semi-decent hopes he wasn't going to be one. As per yooj, I would be wrong.

I'm actually a bit baffled: what seemed like a funny, affectionate, affable gent (albeit pretty far from my physically preferred type) turned very quickly into a petulant, cold twat after an incredibly minor "misunderstanding," i.e. gently expressing my disappointment that after an absolutely lovely time together (and some fun fooling around) he quickly hopped back on the dating website to check messages from other girls. I tried ascertaining the base issue of his 'tude and defensiveness but like Amy Winehouse's parents trying to get her to rehab, all I was getting was "no, no, no." We all see how well that worked out for her, eh?

After giving an adult, civil conversation and resolution the ol' college try and hitting nothing but a brick wall, I realized I was wasting far too much time and mental energy on a hairy, pudgy, dutchbag that is small in the game. Amazing what a British accent can get you to temporarily overlook, ladies, though (unsurprisingly) at the moment every time I hear one I get viscerally annoyed.

Despite the site emailing me to let me know that I was statistically one of their most attractive users and I would be shown only more attractive search results, I didn't ever really find myself inspired to respond to any of the messages I received and when I did actually go out on dates I ended up hating and doubting myself (which is a completely unnatural state for me.)

On Friday, I shut that profile down for good then spent the weekend domestic goddessing between meet ups with my sweet, amazing friends and by Sunday I was feeling so much better.


MTS said...

I did online dating for a long time. I did meet some interesting folks but also: a guy so introverted my sister thought he was a mute. Another Brit who after two weeks of hilarious phone convo and one great date, invited me to drive two hours to help him with an event he was staging, then dumped me at 12:30 in the morning so I got to drive two hours home. And a guy who literally was succumbing to schizophrenia, and that ended tragically (and impacted my life pretty much forever). And then where do I meet the love of my life? In a bar. Go figure!

Alyson O'Holic said...

Good lord, woman - but look at the sweet, awesome dude you ended up with!

I'm going to keep my options open for sure...I started the online profile on kind of a whim and I'm not opposed to eventually rebuilding, but it won't be any time soon.

Now that it is all in perspective, I would have to say that I've had pretty decent luck meeting people on my own/through friends. Clearly, it could be much much worse.

Beth said...

oh, lord. Gabriel and I met on the internet, but not on a dating site, and not intentionally (we lived in other countries, me in northwest and him in southeast!), and had other partners. I think the web is wonderful for meeting people you would otherwise never have access to meet - but I think of the ENTIRE dating pool (online and other) as something akin to a secondhand have to go through a lot of crap, rummaging, looking at a piece and thinking "how does this even EXIST?!" before sometimes you find something that inexplicably seems made just for you, and you wonder how on Earth it's still there and nobody else snapped it up.

My forays (fairly extensive) into online dating were sometimes successful, but mostly, the fodder for some of my favourite hilarious stories now (that were not so funny at the time). I hope you try again (so I get more funny stories, AND so you find your perfect fit!), but yeah, if it was resulting in self-doubt and bad feelings, clearly some time away is a good call. Wise move, woman.

Thanks for coming out on Saturday....was lovely to see you for a bit. <3

Alyson O'Holic said...

Yeah, Ryan was telling me that night that he and Valentina met in a very similar way (online, but not specifically a dating site.) You guys all lucked out, most definitely.

I wish I could have stuck around longer and visited more, but I was really in such a cunty mood I had to take my pizza and go home. I can guarantee that I will be ready to get down at Gabriel's going away shindig.

Really, I am (annoyingly) resilient and my bitterness was short-lived. Though I am not actively seeking new dates, I'm sure as hell not gonna turn a good one down if it presents itself - as frustrating as dating can be, it's really blogging comedy GOLD.

W said...

"Small in the game." HA! HA! I will borrow this phrase.

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