Fun with dating sites.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012
I recently set up an online profile to meet new cute boys over the internet (after realizing my friends are pretty suck at the match making.) Here is a small compilation of the messages I have received so far. Think of it as the best of the best and the best of the worst (though I deleted some possible classics when they first started streaming in.)

Before I fleshed out my profile:
-Under your personality tab it just says "More Drug-Friendly" and "Less Old-Fashioned." So based on what I see here... let's just get high and watch Star Wars.

-You're barn burningly gorgeous. I bet the boys are all over you like a cheap suit ;) So how have all the crazy male apes on this site been treating you so far? This was originally charming, but then it devolved into him (a married man) trying to set up a "discreet" monthly rendezvous. Um, no.

-ya know, I think you and I have some stuff in common, maybe we would enjoy each others company?.. do you agree with any of the thoughts I just mentioned?

-Hi there! Maybe I'm bucking the trend by bagging the stock "you seem really cool" message in lieu of going straight to telling you something about myself, but what the hell, right? I'm feeling adventurous and I want to see what happens when I tell a complete stranger this story. Nintendo was a pretty formative element of my childhood, and I was convinced for awhile that if I dressed up like Link from Legend of Zelda enough that I would become him eventually. This meant I was in my Link costume most of the time, even when I ran errands with my mom. So I'm sure it was embarrassing for her to be cruising down the cereal aisle at the supermarket with a Nintendo character in tow, but I really didn't give a shit and I still don't. Anecdote complete! On the off chance you were having a less-than-awesome start to your week, I hope that brought you some cheer.

-Survey says...
I love you!

-Hi cytie Is this some new slang I haven't heard of?
-I'm not just funny; I'm kind of a joke, as well.

My profile picture is slightly nerdy:
-I am definitely the droid your looking for.

-Hey! How's it going? I gave you five stars because you've been to Tatooine. have a star wars photoshop picture....a communist pizza t-shirt and actually used the term "IRL"

and every other version of "nice profile pic" you could think of.

Now, I am chatting back and forth with a gent who seems promising but doesn't live in Seattle proper and I've got plans for a drink with a local performer I've actually had a crush on for years, so it's not all bad, but DAMN Seattle - y'all are cracking me up.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

OMG, I am cracking up right now. Not sure if it's possible two different people would right the exact same message, so I think it's safe to assume this guy is copy and pasting the exact same messages to different girls (LAME!!). I got the following message, verbatim, today:

"You're barn burningly gorgeous. I bet the boys are all over you like a cheap suit ;) So how have all the crazy male apes on this site been treating you so far?"

I looked up 'barn burningly gorgeous' because I thought it was odd/slightly funny, and your site came up. This guy sounds like a real winner!!! Needless to say, I will not be responding to that one. LOL :)

Post a Comment