Fun with dating sites.

I recently set up an online profile to meet new cute boys over the internet (after realizing my friends are pretty suck at the match making.) Here is a small compilation of the messages I have received so far. Think of it as the best of the best and the best of the worst (though I deleted some possible classics when they first started streaming in.)

Before I fleshed out my profile:

-Under your personality tab it just says "More Drug-Friendly" and "Less Old-Fashioned." So based on what I see here... let's just get high and watch Star Wars.

-You're barn burningly gorgeous. I bet the boys are all over you like a cheap suit ;) So how have all the crazy male apes on this site been treating you so far? This was originally charming, but then it devolved into him (a married man) trying to set up a "discreet" monthly rendezvous. Um, no.

-ya know, I think you and I have some stuff in common, maybe we would enjoy each others company?.. do you agree with any of the thoughts I just mentioned?

-Hi there! Maybe I'm bucking the trend by bagging the stock "you seem really cool" message in lieu of going straight to telling you something about myself, but what the hell, right? I'm feeling adventurous and I want to see what happens when I tell a complete stranger this story. Nintendo was a pretty formative element of my childhood, and I was convinced for awhile that if I dressed up like Link from Legend of Zelda enough that I would become him eventually. This meant I was in my Link costume most of the time, even when I ran errands with my mom. So I'm sure it was embarrassing for her to be cruising down the cereal aisle at the supermarket with a Nintendo character in tow, but I really didn't give a shit and I still don't. Anecdote complete! On the off chance you were having a less-than-awesome start to your week, I hope that brought you some cheer.

-Survey says...

I love you!

-Hi cytie Is this some new slang I haven't heard of?

-I'm not just funny; I'm kind of a joke, as well.

My profile picture is slightly nerdy:

-I am definitely the droid your looking for.

-Hey! How's it going? I gave you five stars because you've been to Tatooine.

-So....you have a star wars photoshop picture....a communist pizza t-shirt and actually used the term "IRL"

Awesome!

and every other version of "nice profile pic" you could think of.

Now, I am chatting back and forth with a gent who seems promising but doesn't live in Seattle proper and I've got plans for a drink with a local performer I've actually had a crush on for years, so it's not all bad, but DAMN Seattle - y'all are cracking me up.

Improving my mood with food & a month of yoga.

I'm going to go on a short rant:

My car is acting funny, my check engine light is on, my date had to "raincheck" this weekend after I had already gotten cuted up and come into the city, my bank balance is pretty darn sad, and the icing on the cake is that I'm breaking out and grumpy because of hormones (AND all I want to do is stuff my face full of salty/sweet junk.)

Okay, I'm done.

Tonight instead of succumbing to the cravings and crawling under my covers, I am going to cook up a nice whole wheat pasta salad with Trader Joe's feta, olives, organic tomatoes and a homemade spicy balsamic vinaigrette dressing before I start reading up and getting ready for my self-imposed Yoga Everyday For a Month Challenge. I had originally been inspired by a yoga blogger I follow who did it every day for a year and then recently spent a good amount of time chatting at a dinner get-together with a friend who does the same and also meditates on a regular basis.

I've been a little more stressed than usual lately and I'm hell bent on being in excruciatingly hot shape by the time I go to Idaho in June, so I figured - what can it hurt?

My favorite response to the "How Yoga Can Wreck Your Body" article.

Lately, I've seen an article from the NYT making the rounds on Facebook and such about "How Yoga Can Wreck Your Body."

I swear, my eyes just rolled back in my head so hard that I gave myself a headache (though I was pleasantly surprised that they didn't harangue Bikram specifically [as per yooj.]) I've got a few indignant personal history-based personal reflections I could throw out there, just like most of the folks who commented on the article but I found myself most entertained by The Reluctant Ashtangi's response on their blog (read that here.)

What I will say is that my the majority of my teachers remind me regularly that "it's called yoga 'practice,' not yoga 'perfect'" and I've injured myself far more with a few months of running than I ever have in my years of at-home and in-class yoga. It's all about being aware of your abilities and limitations, kiddos, and the fact that even LIVING pretty much "wrecks" the body.

Lewiston, Idaho needs more B&Bs or a maybe a boutique hotel.

My best friend from high school's little sister is getting married this summer, near the town in Idaho that I moved out of when I headed for Seattle. I've decided that I'll take a few extra days off of work and make it a mini-vacation roadtrip, during which I thought I'd find a cute place to stay for the time that I am there.

me:http://www.kayak.com/r/ZEEDZWNyH

wow. you like my hotel options?

GAG

Dubs: oh yucko.

no b&B?

me: I've found ONE

still perusing

jeezus

oh my shit

this place

everything is so GENERIC

Dubs: yuck. i say go econo lodge

it has about the worst fucking name for a chain of motels that i ever did hear in my life.

weirder and worse than King Oscar Motels.

me: those are strange

I want NICE!

fancy!

dammit

http://www.italiannainn.com/

there is still a site up for a B&B that stopped in '08

http://local.yahoo.com/ID/Lewiston/Travel+Lodging/Hotels+Lodging/Bed+Breakfasts okay, this looks more promising

Dubs: Ew god

motels are the worst

me: frack

if i can't get boutique, i want THE NICEST PLACE THEY'VE GOT

http://premieralpacas.com/

alpacas!!!!!

Dubs: YES

alpacas!

me: i could stay there!

Dubs: the italian place looks cute, too

Aha, and the alpaca folks are from Seattle

they will like you

It looks cute. Nice pool, too

me: i think the old Italian lady might hate me

Dubs: uh oh

why's that?

me: IDK

just my intuition

Dubs: hahaha

my god, her intro is ATROSH

me: Which one?

http://churchyardinn.com/

i wish I could open the Cliff House page

Dubs: the italian lady. read the fuckin top paragraph on the main page

me: hahahahahahahahahaha

Dubs: yeah

pretty bad

but she looks like a sweet old lady to me

http://www.italiannainn.com/images/photos/anna_vineyard_full.jpg

me: true

I'm leaning towards alpacas thoguh

tho 19 miles is FAR in ID

Dubs: Yeah that's true

me: this is hilars tho

I'm so fucking Seattle now

"WHAT? NO BOUTIQUES?"

Dubs: Hahaha

seriously

THERE HAS TO BE A QUAINT SHOP

I don't want fuckin' chain motels

GLARGH

me: DOES THIS PLACE HAVE A SPA??

Dubs: No asians = no nail salons, sorry

me: hahahahhahahaha

Dubs: so solly

The year of ME.

After spending an absolutely delightful (almost sober) evening watching the fireworks from the Seattle Center fountain with Nat and his little brother on New Year's Eve then some one on one time with said fabulous Lil Bro (LB,) I woke up knowing 2012 was going to be a fantastic year.

Work is challenging and busy, Bikram is keeping me motivated and I seem to have successfully jettisoned all of last year's unnecessary baggage (more fun ex text interactions to come, since those seem to be real popular posts.) The friendships that I cherish are growing stronger, as am I.

I'm moving forward with the pattern of taking better care of myself. As soon as I finish up In Defense of Food I'm diving straight into The End of Overeating, which I am hoping will help me focus on avoiding the whole "I'm not smoking so I'm just going to constantly shove food into my pie hole" thing.

This year I will work on my writing and go on vacation somewhere amazing and relish EVERY SINGLE MOMENT of this beautiful life I have built for myself.