Dumped and un-dumped....

Monday, February 1, 2010
...via text message in the span of 24 hours.

Almost completely my fault, really. Yes, I'll admit it.

My lovely, sweet, incredible boyfriend is a musician.....A very talented musician, from a band that is extremely popular in his home country (Turkey), and his new band is releasing their first album. This means he is a very busy dude right now with recording and mixing, etc., and that he will have to go home soon for an extended period of time for the release and to tour. This also means that his schedule is constantly changing and we have limited time to be together before he leaves for a number of months, which is really tough for me as I am a super schedule-y Virgo with a 9-5, Monday through Friday gig. Learning to be more flexible with my planning and scheduling has been trying, to say the least, and though his English is great we still occasionally hit a language barrier.

We typically get to spend most weekends together and sometimes I can find the time to stay over on a "school night" which is perfectly adequate for me -though in theory I would be happy to wake up next to him every morning, it's also great to be able to have some time for my friends and other activities.

Still though, the idea of seemingly less frequent visits followed with not seeing my boyfriend for MONTHS was sad (and essentially the only issue we had any difficulty with). Since I wasn't expressing what I needed to help me feel secure and he apparently isn't a mind-reader, he didn't really understand that he could help me with just a smidge of reassurance. On Wednesday, I didn't find out our plans for the evening were falling through until a mere few hours before and then was also informed that I wouldn't see him all weekend either and there was still work to be done on the album after that. Couple that with his manager's Facebook posts that the countdown to leave the country was starting and it all degenerated into a back and forth exchange that ended with me being dumped via text (at my urging and for my own good, of course).

I was instantly miserable and figured out pretty quickly that it sucked a lot more to not be with him at all than to have to miss him for a few months. And I told him that. And I got myself undumped.


Anonymous said...

first things first: in my poor opinion, ldr not works; especially with someone like mr. "no me olvĂ­dese".

confession: the first time i read the crush on him (hung out with rockstars..) i was really sorry for you. he is extremely funny, madcap, easily appealing and make people feel themselves better. but soon as you have noticed that, all these characteristics only for limited time. poor memory, highly flirtatious, never off time while working(!) and not like deep thought, self-sacrificing type.

anyway, i’m not trying to make you uncomfortable; so don’t feel sorry.
just let things slide.
really for your own good.


W said...

Hmm, that last comment tastes bitter.

Mary T. said...

I can't even understand it!

Alyson O'Holic said...

It's hard to read because English is not her first language, Mary T. - I'm gonna go out on a limb and say (s)he's Turkish. :)

To Anonymous:
Firstly, I might respect your opinion more had you the courage to not hide behind an Anonymous profile.

Secondly, considering I have not mentioned my boyfriend's name and removed any mention of his band name, the fact that you have tracked down my blog comes off VERY stalker-ish, honey. That's okay though - at least someone is reading my blog. :)

Finally, I will make it very clear that my feelings for him will not be swayed by some cowardly comment posted online. Best of luck to you for moving on and finding someone who will make you/your friend happier than he did.

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