Cleaning out the closet.

Within a mass flurry of ex texts, passive aggressive/misogynist facebook posts, etc. this week I learned a few things about these boys I had dated and myself. Here's a gem from my most very recent ex:

Yes, I date assholes. Pretty much everyone I know is constantly joking "oh, you sure do know how to pick 'em." (Honestly though, Bear was a freakin' saint compared to 80% of my exes so I would like to make it abundantly clear that he is not counted within the "asshole" category - that's probably why we were together for a year and a half.)

So, I date jerks and then I try to BE FRIENDLY WITH THEM afterward in some sick, stupid sense of duty. Even when all of my friends hate them. And then I end up miserable just trying to deflect the snarky comments and judgments and manipulation and craziness and trying to convince me to "ride off into their delusional sunset."

Then yesterday I saw a relevant quote from the Rumi facebook page I follow:

<------

Yeah, these boys are never going to change. And even if they eventually do, it's definitely not going to be on my behalf.

I realized that the only way to fix this is to "clean out my closets" and cut off contact from those exes who will never learn to play nice or have any interest in becoming self-aware. Keeping them around clearly has absolutely no emotional (or physical, if you know what I mean) benefit and I think it's about time I start doing the right thing for me.

Let's think of it as a New Year's Resolution - possibly the only one I've made in the past 10 years, but perfectly 100% doable.

Kenny Powers is my boyfriend.

I spent the Sunday after Thanksgiving watching the second season of Eastbound & Down while lounging around in my "Kenny Powers is my boyfriend" tee-shirt. It was pretty awesome.

I had inexplicably missed most of the second season and I just happened to flip over to a rerun when Sailor and I were at my place on Saturday. He insisted had heard of it but had never seen an episode so we let it roll and laughed our asses off for the next 30 minutes or so.

If you didn't know, Eastbound & Down is rife with profanity and heavy on the hilarity which means it's essentially right up this girl's f*cking alley. Enjoy some of the finer moments (probably NSFW, folks:)

Season 3 is slated to be the last, but I'm still looking forward to it immensely.

Things to be thankful for...

This year has had it's highs and lows but ultimately there are so many things that I can be thankful for today (and every day, like we all should be.)

*my health

*my brilliant friends who support me and challenge me

*my family

*living in this gorgeous city

*a handsome and quirky suitor

*a comfortable home

*a decent job

*Gizmo and Bread

*the internet which brings me gems like this:

Murmuration from Sophie Windsor Clive on Vimeo.

13 days.

It's been a pretty busy 13 days since I last posted here, kiddos.

After watching the Pacquiao/Marquez fight (something I thought I may never do, let alone enjoy) Sailor convinced me to go out dancing with our ex-coworker, his lovely wife and their friends that we had joined for the boxing match. Well, I shook my ass and he enjoyed his lemon drop.

I've recently given up most hard liquor and Sailor likes girly drinks, so trips to the bar are always amusing when I order a beer and he orders some kind of frou frou beverage - the man loves a mimosa.

The trip to Portland was fucking fantastic (though really freakin' cold.)

*The Jupiter was lovely. They have chalkboard paint on all the doors and after I spent a few minutes adding some of my personal "art"

Sailor added his own:

*HUMP! was great, if not better, for the second time and meeting up beforehand with my local friends Rylee and Adam was icing on the cake.

*I dropped my entire purse into a puddle during a "Chinese Fire Drill" and I am still wondering what dissolved into a pink powder in one of the pockets.

*We went to Voodoo Doughnuts Too and Fire on the Mountain TWICE (thanks to DP's old navy buddy Seth for introducing me to this WING HEAVEN.)

*We walked a lot and trekked our way through SE Portland and downtown; on our way back across the Burnside bridge I noticed a sign for a Dirt Nasty show that evening and proceeded to spend 5 minutes telling Sailor who he was before realizing he had been walking 10 feet in front of us the entire time.

*We didn't end up going to the strip club, but did end up capturing some pretty entertaining moments from our trip on his Super 8 camera app.

Before we even got home we were talking about another joint weekend excursion - this time we're thinking Vancouver, BC early in December...Still, I have a feeling I may be back to Portland for the weekend sometime very very soon.

womp womp

Another fantastic weekend, but sadly I got so wrapped up in pet-sitting and HUMP! 7 I completely blew my "post everyday" goal for the month. Oops.

HUMP! was amazing (recap here with SPOILERS;) so incredibly good that when we met up afterward I immediately convinced Sailor that he should go see it with me while we're in Portland. And I got the "I got HUMPED" tshirt. Had to.

This weekend I also fell in love. Every time I went over to take care of my friend's kitties, sweet little (5 pounds!) thing Honky would jump into my lap after she got done eating and purr her little heart out until I had to leave. I'm completely smitten. Today my be my last day taking care of her, but a little piece of Honky will always be in my heart.

"There's a lot to be said here..."

A friend was recently recounting a dream they had and I found myself almost immediately inspired by the striking portrait it painted of two people on seemingly opposite sides of a situation; in the dream's case, a high school basketball court. The desire to turn his one sentence narrative into a full blown short story was immediately awakened and when he strongly suggested I pitch it to him with the intention to make it a short film my mind was again drawn back to the psychic reading that I had so many years ago (part one, part two, part 3, part 4, part 5.) Near the end of my reading (part 5 if you don't want to slog through the whole thing) she encouraged me to pursue writing and most specifically - penning plays.

At once, I started working on a rough draft and after I arrived home I spent the next few available hours before my bikram class continuing to flesh it out. Within 24 hours I had a solid story line to present to my pal and the Madre (who had helped me through a few ideas.) It's going to have to take a backseat over the next few days as I start pet-sitting my friend's cats this evening, but I have an intriguing tingle that tells me this could be quite an entertaining project.

Watch out, Portland.

In less than 3 weeks, my longtime friend Sailor and I will be descending upon the famed Jupiter Hotel for an extended weekend and what is sure to be plenty of debauchery. I've been needing a mini vacation (and definitely owe some friends a visit,) he wanted a chance to catch up with an old Navy buddy in Oregon and my bff Dubs is always looking for a ride south to see her dude so we actually managed to coordinate an upcoming trip to lovely Portland. I'm really not sure I could have better roadtrip partners.

I'm freakin' thrilled to be going to the land of Stumptown Coffee, Voodoo Doughnut, and strip clubs with booze and no "4 foot rule" (I'm coming for you, Union Jacks.)

St. Vincent & sand = NO FAIL

My raw "pasta" dinner was mostly successful, I suppose, though it wasn't quite enough and we ended up at Proletariat Pizza picking up half of their amazing Ham & Egg pie (my second visit that week AND the same exact pizza...lordy.) It was seriously indulgent enough to work in perfect harmony with the cheesecake and chocolate cake Sailor brought for dessert from Bakery Noveau (I have to say he's got pretty good taste.)

As I julienned the big pile of veggies we chatted, made plans for a joint roadtrip and he introduced me to the charming music of St. Vincent (he definitely has a knack for being able to suggest the perfect tunes for his friends.) After dinner and a bottle of wine to wash it down we headed to Alki in the middle of the night and proceeded to enjoy the bottle of port DP had stashed in his car while running around on the beach in the cold like a couple of foolish teenagers. If you haven't peed in the Puget Sound before then you're most assuredly missing out. When I awoke Sunday afternoon to my pile of sandy clothes and salt-crusted shoes, I couldn't help but grin and giggle. I have a feeling that by the time he goes back to LA I'm going to have half a dozen more stories of our antics and possibly half a functioning liver.

"Oh look, more sand!" - Sailor

Hello Halloween FAIL(?)

So, even after weeks of months of planning my possible costume for this weekend I actually ended up with no real plans to go "out" but instead of being upset, I'm a bit amused.

Technically, I did get invited out and of course there are half a dozen costume-y parties I could attend; I'm actually not really feeling it. Instead, I'll be having my friend Sailor over for dinner again - a gent who is apparently "not big on that dress up shit" and curious enough about a raw "pasta" recipe that I've been wanting to try out to pass up on an invitation to both of us from our old coworker to terrorize the bars downtown with him and his wife.

Though part of me feels that I technically "failed" at one of my favorite holidays, the other part is pretty confident that it'll be a lovely weekend even if I don't end up getting out into the costumed craziness that is sure to ensue tonight. It's been pretty freakin' dreary out and a night at home with a good meal, bottle of wine and interesting company isn't sounding too shabby at all.

In other news, this week has been delightful. I got to meet my pet-sitting wards Thursday night before Bikram and I have to admit that Honky and Orville are two sweet, adorable cats who I will be more than happy to take care of while my friends go out of town, despite the fact that Honky requires IV fluids every other day. I got a chance to try my hand at administering the fluids that same night and it really didn't freak me out as much as I had thought it might.

I also got in 2 Bikram classes in with no savasanas (another small class guilted me into pushing myself harder) AND The Madre found out her auditioning classes payed off when she got the part of Helga ten Dorp in a local production of the play "Deathtrap" - I'm so darn proud.

I like a little hustle and bustle and I do it all in 4 inch heels.

I'm beginning to think staying busy keeps me sane.

This week I'm testing that theory with a pizza date with a longtime friend, 2 nights of bikram, a beauty appointment, a pre-pet sitting meeting with a few local friends annnnd that's all before Friday. In the meantime, I'm trying to coordinate some kind of mini-vacation to Oregon or California before my coworker goes on maternity leave in December and I'm stuck in Seattle.

In other news, I should be receiving these boots this week (so hot, right? don't be jels) and after being told I smell "lovely" by everyone from bartenders and random people on the street to close friends I have decided to restock my special signature scent blend. It's like Christmas in October! Also, in hopes of maintaining my "excruciatingly hot" status (thanks, Sailor) I've been inspired to sign up for a month-long membership at Seattle Integrated Martial Arts.

I imagine by the end of this year my ass is going to be in spectacular shape and I'm going to be so zen I won't know what the hell to do with myself.

Have you ever seen a picture of your ex...

and/or their new significant other/dating prospects and felt REALLY FREAKING GOOD about moving on? It's a horribly satisfying feeling. I mean, it's happened to me practically a bajillion times since high school but it really doesn't ever get old.

My coworkers and close friends like to say it's because I have shit taste in men, which is obviously at least partially true. Of course, I'd like to think I'm aging like a fine wine and just getting better as the years go by (which is much easier when you've never had to stress over a bad marriage and kids.)

Anywhoo...I went running on Sunday for the first time in almost exactly six months and though I'm a little sore and realized my form sucks enough to cause ridiculous headaches (I don't know exactly what I'm doing with my shoulders, but it is clearly WRONG) it was a nice alternative to Bikram.

This weekend it appears I'll be lucky enough to get some face time with an old friend of mine; we worked together at my very first job in Seattle, way back in '98. I'm having him over for dinner and, finally, I'll have a reason to harvest some of my homegrown chives for my famous goat cheese and chive potato cakes! Sadly, my broccoli is very leafy and pretty but not really productive and my chard is still way too small, but I should be able to get a few cucumbers out of the bush if I want to somehow incorporate those into dinner. Soon enough my handsome friend will be back in LA working in cinematography and who really knows how many years it will be before I see him again (and if he'll even remember me when he gets all rich and famous, eh?)