Priorities!

Okay, so I didn't go to class. After contemplating what my teacher could possibly (most likely)intend for the last class in the 6 week series I couldn't really find a reason to justify driving from West Seattle to the U District and paying for parking. I've still got Rosetta, a good workbook and loved ones who are more than happy to help me continue learning so I'm not feeling too guilty.

Instead I spent the evening reorganizing my drawers. This weekend the Madre and I searched far and wide (aka as Southcenter's furniture district) for a lingerie chest to help accommodate Bear's clothing when he comes back for his holiday visit (and beyond.) My tidy Virgo tendencies would not do well dealing with him living out of a suitcase, even if only for a week and a half. Because I had skipped the Jingle Run (why I don't own waterproof running gear in Seattle baffles even me, but it was too effing wet) but I still wanted to hang out with my Mom, I figured this was the perfect day to get out and look.

Um, so, I learned a lingerie chest is a very specific type of furniture that places don't keep a lot of versions of AND they usually run around $300 on the lower end. So, off to ikea we went to purchase the $150 version, which we put together in 3 hours the next day. It's simple but beautiful and I seriously felt a sense of accomplishment after making it through all 27 steps without resorting to drinking or throwing things.

The piece it is replacing was a much smaller 2 drawer chest with a usable surface area. Because I didn't go to class, I finally had a chance to make the adjustments to lighting and decor around the bedroom as well as getting the clothes redistributed. Again, my donation pile grew and also I ended up lugging everything downstairs to take to Goodwill.

With only a number of days now until my boyfriend gets back, I have A LOT OF SHIZ TO DO. I believe shall be coping with a little bit of retail therapy to balance out the grocery shopping, fish tank cleaning, bedding washing, girly grooming, etc. I earned it, and I am making it a priority too.

"ours" vs. "my/mine"

Only one week until I get to see my boyfriend. Halle-freakin'-lujah! Not a moment too soon, really.

Also, tonight is my last Beginning Turkish class. Can I get an "Amen?" I've enjoyed the class, but working on noun cases for the past 3 weeks with no forward movement has been incredibly frustrating. I had a pretty good grasp after the first class we worked on them, but I guess she felt the rest of the students were confused enough to warrant an additional 2 sessions (out of 6) on the same stinkin' subject. I think I might go back to Rosetta Stone until I can find an Intermediate class with a little more momentum - I'm not a fan of being forced to pace people who are having trouble grasping pretty simple concepts. Even after discussing my concerns with the teacher, it was clear she did not want to move on to another subject and obviously was not attentive enough to understand how far ahead of the other students a few of us are already moving.

I have a butt-load to take care of around the apartment in the next 7 days, which I am slowly trying to teach myself to refer to as "our" apartment. After 30 years of being an only child and a number of years living on my own (with a few brief failed attempts at cohabitation in my late teens and early 20s,) sometimes I find myself having to consciously focus on the fact that it is now technically "our" apartment and the things in it are essentially "ours" (hands off my Dermalogica, boyfriend.) Once he's actually physically there and helping me with the nitty gritty (like cleaning and finances,) I'm sure it will come much more naturally.

I'm surprisingly not super freaked out about the fact that in a month or so I will no longer be living alone, like, ever again. I know the initial time period where we're crammed into a little one bedroom is going to take adjusting to, but we have our eyes on the prize - a 2 bedroom pet-friendly home with a washer and dryer located somewhere north of the current place. Together. That's the best/most important/coolest part.

Two weeks...

...until I see my sweet, adorable Bear again.

In honor of that happy event, I give you some Al Green:

Reaching the threshold and being ok.

I've found out my breaking point when it comes to my boyfriend being away. Well, I suppose we figured it out before but I didn't realize how the cycle of okayness in my head really truly works (or doesn't.)

Last time Bear left, we agreed that if he were to be gone any longer than 2 months on this recent trip we would figure out a way for one of us to visit. I am now positive this is a pretty good rule to follow from this point forward, for the sake of our sanity if nothing else.

The first month, I'm "OK." I can usually keep myself busy and there aren't too many effects on my daily life, though I am bummed about the non-cuddling and may get a little lazy with my cleaning efforts. Once it passes that one month mark, I start to get sad. Now, if the absence is only one month beyond that I can usually keep it together for another week or so until I have to start readying myself for his return. Pass that one month month with no return date to look forward to and I start to get really sad. Like, "put me on medication sad." I wish I were joking.

Maybe it's just the multiple disappointments we've both had to face this year schedule-wise while still trying to move our relationship forward and the stress of being apart so much AND maybe it will be more bearable as the months go by and we can actually spend more time together than apart, but when it was becoming clear he was going to be gone for 12+ weeks instead of the projected 6-8 it was simply too much for me to handle.

He's my best friend, he's the love of my life, he is my rock; being apart is overwhelmingly hard on both of us. I was already incredibly bummed he'd be gone for Christmas, to add another month beyond that was unimaginable for me. I was crushed. Sadly, it doesn't just strain our relationship, it's also really hard on the friendships I've developed with the rest of his band/management, too.

Thankfully, my Bear is keeping his word. I'm not sure exactly how it came about, but as the offer for the January tour dates became more concrete he apparently became more convinced that he need to come home for a visit. Just like that, "how the hell am I going to make it another 2 months??" transitioned to "oh crap, I have less than 3 weeks to get my sh*t together."

So, he'll come back for a visit and brighten my spirits for the holidays then should only be gone another month beyond that for the tour...Afterward he can come home to me and we can find a bigger place of our own. Finally, our hard work this year will start to pay off the way it should. THAT I can handle.

Seattle Jingle Bell Run 2010 is approaching fast.

Every December for the past 4 years I have participated in the Seattle Jingle Bell Run to support The Arthritis Foundation’s mission to prevent, control and cure arthritis.

Beyond the fact that I am personally afflicted and hope for better treatment options for myself, I am also fully aware that it affects more than 46 million Americans, including 300,000 children, costing the U.S economy over $128 billion annually. Yes, indeed - billions of dollars as one of the nation's most common causes of disability.

I've raised a respectable amount of money in the past, but I truly get the most joy out of the ritual it has become. The Madre will come pick my inevitably grumpy ass up and drop me off in downtown Seattle, where I lace on my bells (alone or with friends) and get my cold butt as quickly to the finish line as I can manage so I can go inside somewhere for breakfast and mimosas. I always smile when the carols start, sometimes I get a little teary, but I always have fun.

If you like to run, please consider joining me this year as one of those crazy people who gets up too early in the cold on a Sunday morning (we can celebrate with mimosas!) You can register here: http://www.seattlejinglebellrun.org/

If you don't like to run and aren't slightly insane and maybe have a few bucks to spare for a really great cause, please consider helping me with my fundraising here: http://seattlejinglebellrun.kintera.org/lovepigeon

If neither are possible for you this year, I'd still love to have your support in spirit! It's freakin' chilly out there.

He does what he can.

While I am still sad that Bear's absence is going to be longer than we had hoped, I have to give him credit - he really has done his best on this trip to get as much face time as possible with me on Skype and give me as much attention as he can.

Most evenings after I get home from work we'll talk for a for a while, sometimes on the weekends we'll just leave the camera for hours on as we work on projects separately, occasionally he'll get into bed and just leave his laptop open until the battery dies after he falls asleep.

It's no substitute for having my living, breathing dude snuggled up to me on the couch with our kitties, but it's a lot better than relying on phone calls, emails and letters to stay in touch, of course.

As bummed out as I was last week after finding out about Christmas, there's really nothing he could've done to be a better boyfriend.

On Monday, Seattle was hit with snow. My coworker who lives near me had ridden her bike to work, so I volunteered to give her a ride home. On my way from her apartment to my own (it took an hour to go from work to her place to my place - all in West Seattle,) I quickly realized my cute little Hyundai is not made for inclement weather. There was a near death experience and a major curb check that trashed one of my front rims; by the time I made it home I was sore, tired and a more than a little freaked out. I opened my mail only to find my one year anniversary gift waiting for me - a gift card for a manicure, pedicure and massage at the salon he goes to for his haircuts in Seattle.

Tuesday was a "Snow Day" and the day he told me he wasn't scheduled to come home before December 25th.

Wednesday, I cried a lot. He tried to reassure me a lot.

Thursday (Thanksgiving,) was our anniversary.

Historically, The Madre and I never found much use for the whole big turkey dinner. That didn't change after I got out on my own, but we wanted to spend time together (um, that's the real meaning of the holidays, riiiight?) so she took me to breakfast at one of our local go-to diners and we chatted for a while.

Once I got home I pulled the Christmas tree out of storage, since Bear and I had already decided to put it up "together" before he told me he wouldn't be here for the actual holiday. It's a pre-lit, 3 foot artificial cutie - perfectly sized for my apartment. Most of the ornaments were the ones with sentimental value that I convinced Ma to left me have when I moved out, but Bear did get me a few more at Turkfest and I had some traditional balls to fill up space.

We got on Skype and after the usual catch up for the day and "love yous" and "happy anniversaries," I popped on some holiday music and got down to setting it up. He worked on music and occasionally gave input, even suggesting maybe we just leave it up for the next year to make up for him not being here for Christmas. While I can't imagine that happening, especially since we'll be moving into a bigger place as soon as possible when he returns, the idea cheered me up.

***One of the many many many reasons I love him - even from across the planet he puts a huge smile on my face.***

When I finally finished up, he was definitely ready for bed (I always forget if Turkey is 9 or 10 hours ahead, but the bottom line is - boyfriend stays up really late to be able to see me,) so I left the laptop open and kept working around my place until I was sure he had drifted off to sleep.

Our relationship has been a little unconventional, but I will give him this - Bear is doing everything in his power to keep me happy despite the distance. As sad as I can get sometimes, I know that I am a very lucky girl to have such a devoted guy itching to come home to me.

Color me disappointed (<----understatement of the year.)

Geez, there are so many ways I could catch y'all up here because it's been a while since I last posted, but the only thing I've been able to think about for the past day is that Bear is not coming home in time for Christmas.

Technically, that means this year he'll have been gone for all of my favorite holidays (Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas.) Did I mention that Thanksgiving is our one year anniversary? Yeahhhh. And this is after my birthday in September basically got pre-empted for a show. I'm growing more than weary of this.

For The Madre and I, these days have always been mellow but shared with the ones we love that are closest and most important to us - usually each other and/or our oldest friends. I was really looking forward to sharing that with him this year, since last year at this time we had just started officially dating and kept the holidays quite "light." I knew it was possible he wouldn't be home, but now that he's said it out loud it is a lot more real.

Honestly, I'm crushed. Right now I feel like all my holiday spirit is gone.

P.S. Though I truly appreciate the fact that some of my friends might think that inviting me out will help, please don't - it's not going to.

NaBloPoMo FAIL

You would think that being ill all weekend would make it easy to keep up with my NaBloPoMO challenge, but then you clearly wouldn't understand the distraction powers of the PlayStation 3. Red Dead Redemption, more specifically.

Sunday I was too tired to even make the effort to play video games and resorted to watching as much Deadwood as possible and working on my Turkish homework.

I hate being sick.

Okay, okay - I feel safe(r).

Due to some questionable activity in my neighborhood and the regular failure of my neighbors to heed the "please do not prop the door open, this is a security(sic) building" sign posted on pretty much every door, I was feeling really unsafe being home alone even before Bear left.

While preparing for his departure, we purchased an alarm for my apartment. In the interest of my own personal safety I won't be describing the exact system we chose, but I will say that we tested it out and were quite pleased with the initial results. For my front door there is an option to chime or sound an alarm when the door is opened while the system is armed.

The other morning before work (a little before 8 AM) I apparently neglected to turn off the door alarm before I departed for my car. I had set it up to "chime" and honestly did not expect the ear-piercing screech that it emitted. Startled, but with enough good sense to quickly shut the door, I switched it off and tried again to leave my apartment.

Except, I didn't actually switch it OFF - I flipped it all the way to ALARM. Holy eff.

I'm pretty sure my neighbors probably hate me, but I'd also bet no one on my floor will ever consider trying to break into my apartment either. I definitely feel safer.

My new favorite show ever. EVAR. (Please bring back Breaking Bad already.)

I have a few associates that I trust implicitly to suggest shows, movies, etc. that I should spend my free time watching.

I haven't had real cable television for a very long while, so I don't typically spend a lot of time watching TV during the week and when I do I prefer that it's a decent quality, right? Don't get me wrong - sometimes I miss the HELL out of "reality programming," but most of it is...just not good for me (or probably you) to watch on a regular basis.

One of these friends recently turned me on to the amazing show that is/was Deadwood.

I am effing obsessed. I watch it all the time, I talk about it to others, it's been mentioned on my Facebook at least 3 times this week...It's my new favorite show ever.

And it was canceled 4 years ago.

I guess it shouldn't be a total surprise I love this show (SO NSFW):

A classic...

Aren't we more advanced than this?

In the age of god-knows-how-many IM platforms AND Skype, I find myself incredibly frustrated when I am forced to correspond with my absent boyfriend via email.

I feel like I may as well be sending a carrier pigeon. *okay, okay, this is a slight exaggeration of the situation

On a similar note, I realized this weekend that due to his travel and phone restrictions Bear would make a pretty dreadful "Emergency Contact." *this is unfortunately not an exaggeration

I love a successful weekend.

Oh yes, there was a pedicure. Lots of ice cream too.

And Deadwood (thanks to a non-The Wire TV series suggestion from my favorite other American+Foreigner couple.)

I went to Hump! and watched amateur porn in a room with hundreds of other people, including the lovely group of my favorite Hill-ites I attended with.

I tried rock climbing with a girlfriend who is apparently part monkey and clearly far less afraid of heights. (see picture for her superhuman feats!)

I Skyped with my boo, I cleaned as much as I could motivate myself to...Pretty much all I could ask for from a weekend on my own.

All I have to do now is make it through Monday.

The streak is over.

As of approximately 6 weeks ago, I broke my 30 year long "No Parking/Speeding Tickets" streak. Since then I've gotten a parking ticket about every 2 weeks. This is not a good sign.

One of them was clearly my fault, one of them was pretty much Bear's fault and the most recent one was a total shocker as I didn't seen any damn Zone Permit signs in the area and discovered it when I turned on my windshield wipers the next day in my own neighborhood. *shakes fist*

Still, I've lost almost $150 of my hard-earned money to parking tickets since late September and momma can't afford that shiz.

Two entirely different types of classes...

I really can't imagine my Turkish teacher even saying the words "ass" or "inner diva," but they roll effortlessly off the tongue of the chick who teaches my Art of Seduction & Exotic Dance classes.

One session strains my brain, the other works my body but both push the boundaries of my confidence.

After all the running around I did this week, I didn't get to talk to Bear much on Skype and by Friday I definitely needed a night in to treat myself to a nice bath, some shows, hot tea and take out pizza and ice cream from my local favorites Proletariat and Full Tilt. It's also possible there may be a pedicure in my very near future.

It's definitely going to be a more hectic pace than I am used to during the week, but it will clearly help keep me busy and distracted until my dude can come home. Also, it means I don't have a lot of time on the weekdays to clean, so "Helloooooo again" Domestic Goddess Sundays!